*Note: This article was originally written for my monthly linkups, which I've archived as it was taking too much out of me. However, I've kept most of the posts written as I realise it's much like a diary with memories that make me nostalgic or smile. I hope you enjoy reading them, too! š
Chronic Illness Life is All About the Waiting...
September has been sort of an interval month for me, as I wait around for lots of different things to fall into place. Waiting for people to respond, waiting for businesses to regain traction, waiting to see how this Implanon implant will affect my menstrual cycle.
As always, only time will tell. And when you live with chronic illnesses you learn to wait, whether it suits your personality or not. Waiting for symptoms and side effects to clear, waiting for hours to finally see the doctor for 10 minutes, waiting for answers, waiting to see if a new treatment works, waiting to feel better, waiting for the A&E department to accept you. Waiting, waiting, waiting...
Still, I havenāt learned absolute patience, as my heart swells up with both hope and frustration, and my mind spends its energy on a high speed treadmill.
*Disclaimer: This article is meant for educational purposes, and is based on my personal experiences as a patient. I am not a doctor, and nothing in this article should be substituted for medical advice. Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding any new treatment protocols. This post may also contain affiliate links. It will cost you nothing to click on them. I will get a small referral fee from purchases you make, which helps with the maintenance of this blog. Read our Privacy Policy page for more information. Thank you!
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Parting Ways with Baby Gaga
I made friends with the people at the laundry shop a few months ago, because they have two cute little cockatiels in their shop. I had originally wanted to sell them a baby cockatiel from the two batches mine produced, and although they wanted a female, they didnāt seem all that keen. So I kept the sole female and we bonded over head rubs and poop cleaning sessions.
Then the laundry lady called me up with sad news one day. Toto, her one year old cockatiel, had died by accident whilst out on a walk š¢ I feel so heartbroken for her, he was such a bright and cheerful boy. She seemed really keen on acquiring a cockatiel now, and after a few days with a heavy heart, I parted with Baby Gaga.
As Iām moving back to my parentsā soon (which has no space for so many birds), I know that sheāll be better off with her. Besides, they bring them to their shop every day so I know where to find them. And from the way I see them treating their other birds, I know that Gaga (originally Edgar until we discovered she was female!) will be well-loved.
Try Try Trying to Earn My Keep
September also threw up many unexpected but pleasant monetary surprises. Which is a relief because I need the cash. Affiliate links, income and gifts that usually take months to accrue rolled in at the same time. From Google Ads, CDBaby (support my noob music here! - Spotify and Apple Music), ShopBack, and Ko-Fi. Now I just need to wait for another few years before they align like that again š
I am also on the hunt for more businesses on various fronts:
- Studio Canvassa. My sister is paying me a salary for a while to help restart her canvas and laminate printing business. So Iāve been busy updating the website, enhancing the SEO, promoting services and looking for new customers.
- Black & Web. Ultimately, still my bread and butter business, whether itās my āreal passionā or not. I do enjoy certain aspects of it, but the stress can be pretty bad. Iāve been hunting for new and old clients as well. Itās usually the kind of business that works best by word of mouth, and what I need to do is to keep trying to roll that ball.
- A Chronic Voice. I had a few great writing gigs in September under my blog business, but October looks to be quieter on this front. Whilst blogging and writing would be my #1 job preference, the money is truly unsustainable. For now, I will continue to accept credible jobs and keep producing my own material. Blogging is a marathon, and to go far requires perseverance and a lot of investment in time and effort. (P.s. My associated work site for health and medical businesses is now live here!)
Affirmations from Unexpected Sources
I am also strangely finding that with this increase in workload, I am stressing out less easily. I am fortunate that I can work on them at my own pace, which makes all the difference. I am able to pick a project, focus on it, and stop when I need to, unlike an office job.
Iām learning how to seize opportunities where they arise energy-wise, and to let go when I wake up to a bad day without any of that foolish guilt. This used to be a huge problem for me, but I think Iām slowly getting there.
This seems to have happened after I did two interviews - one on Chronic Eileen, and the other on the āDisabled to Enabledā podcast. Perhaps speaking out loud or articulating these thoughts did something to my brain. Kind of like a self-affirmation, saying "this is what I believe in, for real". Strange where you find inspiration from sometimes.
Life is Crazy, but Hang on Tight and Love Her with All Your Heart
Christmas will almost be upon us by the end of October. Unbelievable. Do you have any plans or activities lined up? Iām taking things one bite at a time for now, and see where life leads me to by December.
Perhaps Iāll just be a stoneās throw away from where I am right now, or maybe the whole scenery would have changed by then. Who knows what life has in store for us? Sheās a cheeky little thing. Hang on tight to her and love her with all your heart. Lifeās all sorts of crazy, but sheās definitely a keeper.
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Sheryl Chan
Start a new conversation in the Member Comments below!Hi, Sheryl! I love the quote about life: āWho knows what life has in store for us? Sheās a cheeky little thing. Hang on tight to her and love her with all your heart. Sheās all sorts of crazy, but definitely a keeper.ā Iām having a pain flare so Iām waiting for it to pass. Love photos of your birdies.
Thank you Kathy! That final line was what inspired the title and picture of this post. It really can get pretty wild, this lady called life :p Yea Iāve developing new hair loss symptoms so am a bit depressed myself. Sending hugs to you.
Well, clearly we are all exceptionally good at waiting! Iām just getting around to reading everyoneās entries and Iām noticing a trend! š
That is so incredibly kind of you to part with Baby Gaga, and itās also wonderful that you can continue to see her. This month seems like it was a really great link-up month for you, Sheryl. Iām glad to see that it went so well. It has been really good to read your comments about keeping up with work. Iām finding this especially hard to do right now and canāt wait for this year to be over! š Peace and gentle hugs.
Hey Carrie, haha I think we donāt have much of a choice, unfortunately! š
Well to be honest the month hasnāt been going well at all so far. But it hasnāt been the worst either, so I guess that makes itā¦okay? š®
Thank you for the love though. Sending some right back at ya!
Hello again Sheryl, thank you once again for the brilliant prompts for this month. I do hope the month will be a good one for you. I especially resonated with āwaitingā this month, I think it is something that we learn to do when living with illness. We wait and wait and wait, learning to be patient in the midst of suffering. And the last part about life being crazy but holding onto it was beautifully profound! Keep up the brilliant work and I look forward to next month!
Thanks for your lovely wishes, Rhiann! Yea waiting can be quite the thing with chronic illness, and incredibly painful in its own way! I hope you have a good month too, and sending lots of love!
I love the main pic with the girl and the cigarette it definitely catches the mood. I found it drawing me in. Sorry you had to part with Gaga but what a blessing to be able to visit. I had a similar situation with my dogs many years ago. It makes all the difference knowing they are in loving hands. I hope October comes through with some more star aligned monetary surprises Sheryl take care xx
Hi Niamh, thanks and yes, happy that the little one is in good hands and maybe even has a boyfriend now :p As for the picture with the cigarette, I love it too for similar reasons as you do. But some people donāt agree as well as seen below heh. But I still like it anyway. October has been dry and quiet so far, but itās still fairly early so letās see where it goes! Sending love too!
Great prompts yet again!
Definitely hear you on finding work that fits our pace. Iām hopeful of getting involved in a podcast that will mean I do the background stuff that can be done any time. I also write up to two blogs in advance to get ahead when Iām feeling well enough and perhaps itās raining outside! Days like today I am writing because I have to make sure I donāt rush around. Writing really is beneficial in so many ways.
Bit of a rambleā¦great blog though š
Thanks for sharing, Naomi! Yes writing has so many benefits, both for ourselves and for others š
These prompts ring true for the place I am in this month. I am so glad to hear of some progress in the monetary department, it is a constant struggle when our bodies wonāt allow us to do ānormalā work. Praying for you š
Perhaps the seasons reflect upon us all (though thereās no seasons here, heh). Yea Sept was great money wise but Oct is dry again. Itās a scary cycle, I guess, when you freelance sometimes and also with the unpredictable health issues. Thank you, hope you have a great month!
Hi Sheryl, I really love everything youāre doing here, but a photo in the header of a girl with a cigarette!!!! in her handā¦ā¦.? On a site designed to help others and raise awarness about chronic ilnessesā¦ā¦?
As I replied on Instagram: I knew someone would say that š I love your profile too, keep up with your own style. I chose this picture more for metaphorical reasons, and also to keep things a little real with how I feel, i.e. not all sunshine, positivity and perfection. Anyway, keep doing what you do best.
I am figuring out how to make more affiliate income myself. As it is, it is unpredictable. And I figure if I utilize it more, it might be a little more consistent. We shall see. Blogging fun.
I am doing a lot of waiting but it coming nearer to my appointments now that October is here. I hope I finally get answers.
Iām on the outs with Christmas. I expected too much from it as an adult. Now it is just a day really. Also I am not really fond of winter overall. Hoping fall lasts a wee bit longer than usual around here.
Hey Nikki, hope that the Oct appointments work out well, fingers crossed for you! Yea affiliate income is so wishy washyā¦until you get to a certain level then maybe it gets better, I donāt know. Iām still figuring it out!
Ahahaā¦we only have summer here so that sucks, too. Itās either hot or hot and rainy, the humidity is no fun either.
Great job on creating your own app btwā¦youāre insanely productive despite all your pain! Sending hugs x
We do wait a lot as chronic illness patients that is for sure! And yay for the monetary suprises. You totally deserved it.
Thanks Kirsten! Those were really just a one off š Yeaā¦waiting is boring, and maybe one of the annoyances of life with chronic illness!