*Content Warning: Mentions of suicide, anxiety and depression in relation to being on a high dose of steroids.
*Disclaimer: This article is meant for educational purposes, and is based on my personal experiences as a patient. I am not a doctor, and nothing in this article should be substituted for medical advice. Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding any new treatment protocols. This post may also contain affiliate links. It will cost you nothing to click on them. I will get a small referral fee from purchases you make, which helps with the maintenance of this blog. Read our Privacy Policy page for more information. Thank you!
A Common Question When You Start on a High Dose of Steroids
A common question people have when put on a high dose of steroids for the first time is, "how do you deal with the mental side effects, especially for an indefinite period of time?"
I was a teenager when I had my first taste of steroids. Everyone around me was so focused on the physical aspects of my disease, that the emotional wreckage brought about was brushed aside as unimportant.
As a result, I presumed that it was part of what puberty felt like. If you asked me now what I was like as a teenager, my recalled identity is vague. Despite attempts to analyse it, I still have no idea which behaviours were my own, and which were due to the influence of steroids.
One thing is for certain however – it wasn't puberty that made me gaze out the window with thoughts of suicide every single night, whilst convincing my body that it was a bad idea and to lie still in bed.
Pin to Your Steroids, Medications & Mental Health Boards:
Strength is Meaningless When Your Mental State is in Chaos
Being on a high dose of steroids is an experience unlike any other. You learn that no matter how strong you think you are, the attribute 'strength' is just a transient state, just another word in a dictionary of a hundred thousand words.
You learn just how quickly mental strength can be dismantled and tossed to the dogs for a chew toy, how it's just a joke to the cells in charge of dispensing the right amount of chemicals within your brain.
You stare at those perfectly round white pills sitting in the palm of your hand, in disbelief that something so clean and tiny has the ability to cause so much anguish.
Steroids – The Drug That's Both a Miracle and a Curse
Prednisone is a miracle drug due to its superb suppressive property, which often works when nothing else will; a giant stun gun that knocks your entire immune system out. What you exchange for it are your defensive capabilities and sanity.
The chemistry in your brain and body turn into a potent brew of toxic, nourishing your greatest fear and feeding it back into your system. Every thought in your head repeats itself 10 times per second, day and night without respite.
What I Found to be the Worst Side Effect of Being on a High Dose of Steroids
The physical side effects of steroids can be devastating. You may start to look and feel like a monster with huge lumps of water retained in various body parts. Your bones can become brittle and break, or your eyes can develop cataracts or glaucoma. Your immune system is suppressed, so you catch bugs and heal from injuries at a crawl. And that's not the last of it on this lengthy list.
Yet I feel that the psychological damage is the worst side effect of them all. It is a clinical condition that needs to be taken seriously, and dealt with care. It should never be allowed to slide, because the patient isn't speaking up for whatever reason. Any other physical cause or symptom no longer matters, if one doesn't have the sanity of mind to fight on.
Pin to Your Steroids, Medications & Mental Health Boards:
Member comments