The Barriers That Throw Rocks into My Bucket List with Chronic Illness

*Note: This article was originally written for my monthly linkups, which I've archived as it was taking too much out of me. However, I've kept most of the posts written as I realise it's much like a diary with memories that make me nostalgic or smile. I hope you enjoy reading them, too! 🙂

Allocating More Time & Effort Into My Bucket List

I’m going to be honest and admit that I’ve grown a bit tired of writing my own monthly prompts of late. I have a gazillion ideas and other projects I want to work on, so I will probably be allocating more time and energy toward them instead. Things like regular types of blog posts (which I haven’t done in a while!), my new job, my own business website, and blog experimentations in other niches. Also on longer-term goals that are on my bucket list, which I yabber about below.

Maybe it’s an Aries thing? ;) I am always great at and super excited with kicking off new projects. But have a hard time maintaining them and pacing ;) Don’t worry though, I still enjoy reading what you have to share every month, and will keep these linkups up and running. I will probably get back on the train at some point, too (if I even hop off, that is).

*Disclaimer: This article is meant for educational purposes, and is based on my personal experiences as a patient. I am not a doctor, and nothing in this article should be substituted for medical advice. Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding any new treatment protocols. This post may also contain affiliate links. It will cost you nothing to click on them. I will get a small referral fee from purchases you make, which helps with the maintenance of this blog. Read our Privacy Policy page for more information. Thank you!

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Re-defining My Priorities in Life

I need to re-define my priorities, my business, my finances and my life. I’m turning 35 this year and it feels like one of those milestone years. I guess in terms of biology, it is kind of a milestone year.

I wasn’t even aware that I did indeed have a bucket list; I just figured that it didn’t matter if I dropped dead at any point in time as I’ve reached that level of acceptance after four near death experiences. So many people in war torn or inaccessible countries don’t even have that privilege of a bucket list or dreams. Even thinking about them could mean death.

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My Current Bucket List

There are a few things I would really like to accomplish in life, namely:

1. Start My Own Family

It’s been on the list since I was a tween. At 14, I’ve had to make decisions about my body that involved fertility, even though I didn’t even have a first love, yet. Thing is, the older I get, the less motivated I am with all the daily aches and pains. Often I think to myself, if I can’t even take care of myself, what more an active kid or two who will require attention 24/7?

It was one of the reasons why I got a puppy actually, to test myself a little bit. Having done that, I know that I will survive a kid, even though I’m sure a kid is heaps harder to take care of compared to a crazy, nippy little pup (don’t let those puppy eyes fool you for one second). As a human being, we always find a way to make it through.

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2. Own My Own Home

In a country like Singapore where land is scarce, houses and apartments cost a bomb. Also, we’re only allowed to purchase an HDB (the typical flat the average family lives in here) as a single person at 35. Yes, you can’t buy an apartment before you turn 35 if you’re not married, unless it’s a private property. It’d be nice to have my own space and privacy. To have a roof under my head that I know belongs to me. To know that I have a place to stay when I’m older.

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3. Write My Memoir

I always say I’ll get around to this, but end up writing blog posts, or working on some other thing that has a shorter timeline. This probably has to do with me being a productivity addict.

I’m the sort of person that feels uncomfortable and unaccomplished if I don’t produce tangible results for something at the end of the day. It’s a mindset I’m working on as it’s too black and white, and ironically, hinders me instead.

I’d like to write my memoir like a piece of artwork, a poetic prose. To invest all my emotions and heart into it, even if it hurts. I have a story to tell, and I want to leave my mark on it, even if it's just for myself.

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4. Earn My Degree, Masters Then PhD in Linguistics

You might be surprised, but if given a choice, my main purpose in life, I feel, would be to preserve dying languages. Yes I do advocate for rare disease awareness, but I strongly feel that the preservation of dying languages is an equally pressing matter. If I had to choose, this would be #1 on my bucket list.

With the death of every language comes the death of perspective, a way of thinking, a way of solving problems. As a result, our world views shrink, and our approach to problem solving slides into rigidity, which at some point hits a gridlock. This impacts all areas of society and humanity, including healthcare and research.

As a bilingual person who also understands another two languages or so, I know that certain logic, formation of conclusions, and modes of thinking are heavily influenced by language. A brain switch if you will. So much history, culture and beliefs are tied to a language, too. It means too much to let so much beauty, knowledge and wisdom simply fade away and die.

And something else that you may or may not find interesting is that as a programmer, I think that code is in itself a language as well. I do a mental shift between programming and writing as required. There are so many ways to write code and to arrive at the same conclusion. Some are more efficient, and some less so, depending on what the aim is. It’s problem solving in one of its most direct forms.

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Health & Financial Barriers That Block Out These Bucket List Goals

Okay so enough rambling about my bucket list. The main barriers as you very well may guess, are health and finances. I know that I have to take care of my health and be even more disciplined about it, if I want to achieve any of these life goals. Without it, finances would be even more unachievable than it already is anyway.

Even working part time is a struggle for me, as I realise how much even four hours of work a day - if at all - is for my body. But I know with better discipline, focus, stress management and a healthier lifestyle, I can improve my energy levels, too.

How I wish I had a sponsor especially for my studies, but for now I’ve started saving wee bits of money in investment portfolios. Admittedly I know jack shit about investing, and have tried to read up a little more about it. But I must say that it really doesn’t interest me at all (maybe that’s why I’m so broke).

I guess that’s it from me for the month. I am also aware that priorities and bucket list goals can change over time. Life, especially with chronic illness and disability is 'interesting', to say the least. To continue, you can read the previous or next diary entries.

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