The Modern Day Definition of Capability
Are you a capable person? What does it mean to be a capable person? The Oxford dictionary defines ‘capable’ as:
- “having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to do or achieve a specified thing”.
- “able to achieve efficiently whatever one has to do; competent”.
How does modern society perceive this? Perhaps you might picture a powerful woman, who not only leads a multinational corporation, but also has three kids, a dog and runs half marathons on a regular basis. Or perhaps you might picture an enterprising entrepreneur, who has set up 10 companies across the globe, travels at every opportunity, and squeezes time for every drop of usefulness he can get out of it. Whichever persona you have in your head is probably one who is on the go, and the epitome of activity.
Here's What I Found When I Searched for 'Capable Person' Stock Photos...
*Disclaimer: This article is meant for educational purposes, and is based on my personal experiences as a patient. I am not a doctor, and nothing in this article should be substituted for medical advice. Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding any new treatment protocols. This post may also contain affiliate links. It will cost you nothing to click on them. I will get a small referral fee from purchases you make, which helps with the maintenance of this blog. Read our Privacy Policy page for more information. Thank you!
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Can You Still be a Capable Person When Chronic Illness Ruins Your Life Plans?
What if I showed you a picture of someone who is lying in bed, feeling defeated by depression? Or someone who is in pain, crawling to the bathroom only 10 steps away? Would these people fit into your category of ‘capable’? Probably not. They already need so much help to achieve simple tasks, how could they accomplish more?
What Doesn't Help #1 - The Unreliability of Thoughts & Feelings
Many of those who struggle with chronic pain or mental health symptoms know just how unreliable a thought or feeling can be. Can you trust yourself? The anxiety or even euphoria you experience might actually be a result of inflammation in the brain, a hormonal imbalance, or something else. Many of us have developed defensive mechanisms as a result, in a bid to help us differentiate between fact and fiction.
Think of it this way - there is a raging fire somewhere in your body, and it is spreading fast. Your body's control centre, the brain, sends out distress signals. This creates a chain effect of reactions; your body works as a single unit, afterall.
Thinking happy thoughts might keep your hopes up, but that doesn't mean the fire will stop burning. The smoke produced can be suffocating, no matter how much willpower and desire you have to escape. Sometimes your own buckets of water aren't enough to put the fire out, and you need the help of professional firefighters. These often come in the form of therapy, medications and more.
What Doesn't Help #2 - The Invisibility of Chronic Illness & Medication Side Effects
Many of those who are on medications know how one tiny pill (I’m looking at you, prednisone) can manipulate your current state of wellbeing, for better or for worse. Just. one. pill.
Many chronic and mental illnesses are also of an invisible nature, which can be both a blessing and curse. To others, we look well enough to be a 'capable' person, yet we're feeling just the opposite on the inside. Pain, fatigue and a boatload of other heavy feels weigh you down, yet no one else can see them.
That is why this futuristic exoskeleton looks interesting to me - it allows you to experience what old age might be like, by mimicking arthritis, hearing loss and blindness. I hope that in future we will be able to experience a wide assortment of ailments through such a simple means, too. A box of colourful pills: "pick one to mimic the effects of a symptom for a day".
To let people experience first hand what it's like to live with chronic fatigue, anxiety, depression, joint aches and more. And to realise how much difference tweaking just one chemical or protein in your body can make. It is both dreadful and mind blowing. You will realise that sometimes, you are no match for your own body.
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Struggling With Dark Thoughts & Feeling Less Than Capable
There are people who are struggling with this single thought right now, “To kill or not to kill myself?” They are not only feeling incapable, but also worthless and burdensome. In extreme cases, some might even feel hatred towards themselves or their bodies.
Isn't that pathetic? They should try to distract themselves. Fill their time with sports - the endorphins will help. Immerse themselves in hobbies – pleasant activities are good for well-being. See some friends – we are social creatures who need human connection. Do something, anything, except lie there drenched in the excrement of self pity.
A Gentle Reminder for Depressing Days Such as These
But the fact that they haven’t ended their life yet is one hell of an amazing feat. You may or may not ever comprehend their level of physical or mental pain, but there is a boiling point.
The word ‘clinging’ sounds feeble; it is often associated with infants or children attached to their mothers. But have you ever tried clinging onto life when pain is all there is? When there might be nothing left to live for? When life has lost all meaning?
Capability is to pursue life, but sometimes that means focussing inwards and not pushing outwards. To preserve yourself and survive. Especially when your body is at civil war, and your mind is a traitor playing tricks. To lie there in all your defeat and hopelessness, whilst clinging onto life for no clear reason. If that isn’t capability, then I don’t know what is.
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Back to the Dictionary Definition of a Capable Person
Going back to the dictionary definition of the world 'capable': “able to achieve efficiently whatever one has to do; competent”.
This might simply mean to survive the day, as gracefully as we possibly can. It might look like getting dressed, having one nutritious meal, and any other acts of self-care you can mete out to yourself, within your limitations for the day.
So if we're still sticking to the dictionary definition of capability, then yes, we can still be capable people despite chronic illness. Technically speaking, there is no contradiction. Rather, society has collectively constructed prototypes for what a capable person is supposed to look like, and has associated achievement with material success for the most part.
So are You a Capable Person, or Not?
In sum, capability is fluid and self-defined; dependent on your personal goals, and even the day. This is especially true for people with chronic illnesses, because we need to deal with chaotic energy fluctuations. Our baseline shifts, shimmers and trembles more than the average person's. Whilst others are using one energy bar as a yardstick, our device is swapped on a daily basis.
Context is of vital importance too, just like with many other things in life. I feel that context is often forgotten or thrown out the window in a fast-paced, instant gratification culture. It is always beneficial to take a step back - or up - to get a better view of the grand picture of life.
In conclusion, what does your energy bar look like right now, and how best can you spend it? If it is only at 10% but you spend it on self-care in order to contribute to the well-being of 'future you' – that is a win in my opinion. If it feels like it's at 0% and all you're doing is lying in bed, struggling to survive – then to me, that is beyond capable. That is resilience, grit and strength, even if you may be feeling terribly vulnerable right now. Hang in there – you are doing amazing, truly.
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Sheryl Chan
Start a new conversation in the Member Comments below!I don’t feel very capable at the moment, but I can see where you are coming from, I watched an episode of Greys Anatomy yesterday that took me back to a part of my life I would rather forget, I will recover from it but I just need a little time, great writing Sheryl x
Thanks Rachael. It’s okay not to feel capable at times – we all go through such moments 🙂 Just hang in there, the light always shines again, some day. 🙂 xxx
I love how you say that sometimes being capable is shown through the inner work rather than the outer doing. At 56, the last two years of inner work has really been something that makes me feel accomplished and has given me back some of the confidence I had lost the three years prior when I didn’t know why I was declining.
Hi Katie, yes I think that really is true. A lot of inner, unseen work can be much harder than what is seen. I hope you slowly regain your confidence – you are a lovely person, know that 🙂
A couple of weeks back, a good-looking, successful, intelligent, very well educated, well spoken, articulate, 34-year old Indian actor committed suicide (Name: Sushant Singh Rajput). He was what any young person would be inspired by and be seen as much more than capable – and he was.
It’s been a huge shock to anyone who has followed his journey over the years.
What cost him was his mental health.
So as I read this today, I completely agree with you Sheryl on our perception of what ‘capable’ looks like. It takes a lot to keep going and like you have so beautifully said that “Capability is to pursue life, but sometimes that means focussing inwards and not pushing outwards. To preserve yourself and survive. Especially when your body is at civil war, and your mind is a traitor playing tricks. ”
And a huge shout out to everyone who manages to look inward and keeps persevering – you’re all doing such a brilliant job and quietly you know that it’s true. We all just need to be kind to ourselves and each other.
Hi Shruti, yes I heard about that online. It really is sad, but also serves to highlight to society and the public (especially in an Asian culture as an Indian or Chinese) that mental illness kills. Mental health matters. Stigma needs to be broken. Conversations had. People listened to.
I hope that by raising awareness and breaking the stigma, many lives will not be lost when they don’t have to be. Sending love your way.
Thank you Sheryl. Love to you too.
I agree on the increase in conversation and the increase in awareness of the options people have. I always feel fortunate that I went through counselling as a teenager and how those lessons improved my mental health. An early exposure armed me well.
Sadly India is the highest in suicide rate in our region of South-East Asia. Hopefully I’ll do a podcast on it soon.
But again, thank you for raising awareness and increasing conversation on being “capable”.
Yes it’s sad about the suicide rate, especially in India 🙁 I look forward to that particular podcast episode 🙂 And I’m glad you received mental health help early on – I wish I had too as a teen.
Great post, and I think many people put themselves down when they live with chronic illness, thinking they aren’t capable because they aren’t able to do certain things. Yet perhaps they are the most capable of all!
Hi Claire, yes capability looks a bit or a lot different for everyone! And I do believe inner capability is what matters at the end of the day. Outer capability is just the byproduct of that inner capability 🙂
I like it when you say Living each day is capability. Enabling us to face the challenges and struggles of life is capability.
Thanks Jojo! It really is, if you think about it. And especially when you live with a pain of any kind, it really is survival at its most capable.
Well written! I hope people get an insight into what it feels like to live with chronic pain or mental illness from this article.
All human beings has the capability to be good and great. There are lot of factors that affects our capability to reach our full potential but i think is up to us to overcame it. Nice article, good read and informative.
I believed we are all capable of something great we just have to trust ourselves more and do it. Excellent read and I enjoy it. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks April, you’re so sweet 🙂 Yes we are all truly capable in some extent 🙂
This is a beautiful post. For me, apart from our skills and skills, the capability is the power from within. Something that drives us to move forward.
Aww thank you so much Jho, I appreciate your comment 🙂 Yes we are all capable in some way 🙂 x
When faced with adversity, in whatever shape it comes, we are all so much more capable than we may feel or even appear. Human spirit and our survival instincts are the essence of capability.
Yes, you’re exactly right, Jayne! It all boils down to simply, being human 🙂
Really interesting piece. As a family we are all too familiar with mental capability and dark thoughts – me with long term chronic illness, hubby having had a breakdown, and now adolescents….one having a major crash during first year uni, another now on antidepressants & self harming ahead of A levels, and the 3rd with major anxiety. Doesn’t make me feel great as a mum when I received a letter detailing an assessment and listing out all our family issues!! But we have to work through it don’t we, and teach our kids too. Thanks for sharing on #Chronic Pain & chronic illness linkup party!
Hi Claire,
I am very sorry to hear how each and every member of your family is struggling with issues, it definitely sounds more than a handful. Well done for even coping up to here. Yes I agree with you…all we can do is try our best, and hope our children (I have none but hopefully in future!) learn from our examples. You are most welcome and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and life.