> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://achronicvoice.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # We Shouldn't Expect People to Understand - URL: https://achronicvoice.com/we-shouldnt-expect-people-to-understand/ - Published: 2016-02-09T14:56:47.000Z - Updated: 2026-04-15T16:15:12.000Z - Author: Sheryl Chan - Tags: Relationships, Personal Development, Chronic Illness, Caregiving ## We Shouldn't Expect People to Understand – Anyone Who Says They Do, Doesn't Really The topic of this post might sound controversial but do hear me out. In all seriousness, how can anyone understand something that they've never experienced, even if they tried to? Anyone who says they do, doesn’t really. It would be from pure imagination – although fiction does have great power – a human being pretending to be a fish. Even if you could hold your breath for 10 minutes, the skill to breathe underwater is still something you will never possess. It is simply not in your genes. *\*Disclaimer: This article is meant for educational purposes, and is based on my personal experiences as a patient. *I am not a doctor, and nothing in this article should be substituted for medical advice.* Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding *any* new treatment protocols. This post may also contain affiliate links. It will cost you nothing to click on them. I will get a small referral fee from purchases you make, which helps with the maintenance of this blog. Read our* [***Privacy Policy***](https://achronicvoice.com/privacy-policy/)*page for more information. Thank you!* Pin to Your Invisible Illness & Chronic Pain Boards: ![We Shouldn't Expect People to Understand — And What They Can Understand, Instead](https://cdn.achronicvoice.com/shouldnt-expect-people-to-understand-what-what-can-understand-instead.jpg) Read Related Posts: - [7 Ways to Be a Better Friend to Someone with a Chronic Illness (and 3 Things You Should Never Do)](https://achronicvoice.com/better-friend-chronic-illness/) - [The Savagery of Panic Attacks & The Saving Grace of Internet Friends](https://achronicvoice.com/panic-attacks-internet-friends/) - [What’s it Like to be a Caregiver for a Chronically Ill Loved One (The Challenges & Rewards)](https://achronicvoice.com/caregiver-chronically-ill-loved-one/) - [4 Cool Truths My Partner Said (Unwittingly)](https://achronicvoice.com/cool-truths/) - [November 2018: Meeting and Collaborating with Chronically Ill People in Real Life](https://achronicvoice.com/meeting-collaborating-chronically-ill-real-life-november-2018/) ## Being Chronically Ill is Like Living in an Eleventh Dimension Have you ever [**gotten your heart broken**](https://achronicvoice.com/dating-with-chronic-illness/), or lost a loved one? They you'd know that there's nothing like it in the world. It is beyond the most terrifying night you can conjure, prior to the actual experience. Let's just say that we have an extra layer to our slice of life, an eleventh [dimension](https://phys.org/news/2014-12-universe-dimensions.html). It might grant added insight, or accelerate the wisdom that only comes with age, but it isn't a choice we made. (It does [**feel as if our bodies are in their 60s**](https://achronicvoice.com/sick-girls-diary-wish-old-person/) by the way). ## Don’t Blame Them So don't blame a healthy friend, partner, colleague or even stranger. It's impossible for them to understand how you're feeling, or what you're going through. Perhaps they are trying hard, but that is the extent of their abilities - to try. And be glad that they *don't* understand! I wouldn’t want any of my loved ones to. ## What They *Can* Understand Instead Having said all that, there *is* something that they *can* understand: that they *don’t* and *can’t* understand how you feel or how your life is like, but know that you are going through a tough time. Empathy is an inherent ability that everyone possesses, and can choose to nurture through practise. Our loved ones should be there for us even if they cannot comprehend what we are going through. To sit beside us and say, “I am here for you. Let me know how I can help.” ## Sign Up for My Free Newsletter Be the first to get the latest post updates in your inbox, and unlock the comments section. You will also receive an e-book full of uplifting messages, quotes and illustrations as a token of appreciation! [Browse more membership plans here](#/portal/), or [make a one-off donation](https://ghost.achronicvoice.com/#/portal/support) instead. Sign Up Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. Read Related Posts: - [WhatWhat's it Like to be the Mother of a Chronically Ill Child? (Precious Insights from My Own Mum)](https://achronicvoice.com/mother-of-chronically-ill-child/) - [What’s it Like to be the Father of a Child with Chronic Illness? (Precious Insights from My Own Dad!)](https://achronicvoice.com/father-of-child-with-chronic-illness/) - [What’s It Like Going Back to School as an Adult with Disability and Chronic Illness](https://achronicvoice.com/going-back-to-school-as-an-adult-disability-chronic-illness/) - [Disability & Sex: Disabled People are Not Automatically Bad Sexual or Romantic Partners](https://achronicvoice.com/disability-and-sex/) - [September 2018: Reconnecting with Friends & Family, and Sharing on Social Media](https://achronicvoice.com/reconnecting-friends-family-sharing-social-media-september-2018/)