> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://achronicvoice.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Advice That Could, Quite Literally, Kill - URL: https://achronicvoice.com/advice-quite-literally-kill/ - Published: 2016-03-16T11:48:16.000Z - Updated: 2026-04-06T16:10:28.000Z - Author: Sheryl Chan - Tags: Community, Chronic Illness, Caregiving, Relationships ## One Size Does Not Fit All — Doctor's Perspective When it comes to chronic illnesses and autoimmune diseases, one size does not fit all. Even our doctors deal with us on a case by case basis: > “This drug works for him, but can she tolerate it?” > “It isn’t doing anything for her at all, even after 6 months.” > “This drug is superb for joint aches caused by Rheumatoid Arthritis! But your white blood cell count has been flaky from Sjögren's disease, so we'll have to stop using it." > “This is the latest drug that has worked for almost all our patients, but it costs $10,000, and there is [**no guarantee that it will work for you**](https://achronicvoice.com/anaphylaxis-rituximab/), too.” It isn’t quite like a cough or a sore throat, where you go to the pharmacy to get the same prescription as everyone else. *\*Disclaimer: This article is meant for educational purposes, and is based on my personal experiences as a patient. *I am not a doctor, and nothing in this article should be substituted for medical advice.* Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding *any* new treatment protocols. This post may also contain affiliate links. It will cost you nothing to click on them. I will get a small referral fee from purchases you make, which helps with the maintenance of this blog. Read our* [***Privacy Policy***](https://achronicvoice.com/privacy-policy/)*page for more information. Thank you!* Pin to Your Chronic Illness, Awareness & Communication Boards: ![Advice That Could, Quite Literally, Kill (Unsolicited advice when you live with chronic illness)](https://cdn.achronicvoice.com/unsolicited-advice-could-quite-literally-kill-with-chronic-illness.jpg) ## One Size Does Not Fit All — Patient's Perspective Even patients with the same chronic illness might not understand the full spectrum of their own disorder. For example, there are actually [four different types of Lupus](https://www.lupus.org/resources/the-four-different-types-of-lupus), with [many different symptoms](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/lupus/symptoms-causes/syc-20365789). It might destroy the kidneys of one person, but affect the skin of another. Both of them have the same autoimmune disease – Lupus – yet they may never understand what it feels like to be in the other person's shoes. ## Advice That Could Kill — My Personal Pet Peeve I am sure that almost everyone with a chronic illness has a pet peeve. Mine, hands down, would be unsolicited health advice given by acquaintances who have [**no idea who you really are**](https://achronicvoice.com/loss-of-identity-chronic-illness/) as a person. They don't know [**what you do on a daily basis**](https://achronicvoice.com/a-day-in-the-life/), or the specifics of your disorders. They dispense advice for exercise, but are not there beside you when you are struggling to sit up in bed. Or maybe you are already doing more exercise than them, despite chronic pain! ### The Tricky Thing About Antiphospholipid Syndrome I’ve had many people enthuse about magical beans and seeds, or suggest I go vegan. This can be little tricky when one has [**Antiphospholipid Syndrome**](https://achronicvoice.com/antiphospholipid-syndrome-diagnosis-a-to-z-guide/) (APS), an autoimmune disorder where your blood has a tendency to clot. The [**blood thinners I take**](https://achronicvoice.com/medications-and-antiphospholipid-syndrome/) require close monitoring of the foods I eat. Variations in my diet can increase the risk for [**blood clots that could kill me**](https://achronicvoice.com/pulmonary-embolism-dvts-antiphospholipid-syndrome/) (which is what the title of this post meant). I once ate a plateful of quinoa and woke up to a giant bruise covering half my arm. Who knew that a non-green food would be that dangerous? I discovered that quinoa in itself does not contain [**Vitamin K**](https://achronicvoice.com/vitamin-d-vitamin-k2/) (an important vitamin that helps with blood clotting, but can be dangerous with APS). But the shell enclosing it contains [saponins](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1155/2015/876426) (Chen et al., 2015), which triggers blood thinning instead. Anyway, who knew a plate of organic, healthy stuff wasn’t so good for me. ## Reframing Unsolicited, Unwanted Advice These days I am trying to understand the perspective of a healthy person a little more. I put myself in their shoes and ponder, “[**How could they possibly understand**](https://achronicvoice.com/we-shouldnt-expect-people-to-understand/)? I can’t blame them for that.” [My psychologist has also played a key role](https://achronicvoice.substack.com/p/my-inner-child-and-the-angry-girl) in my journey towards psychological healing for the past year. She presented this issue to me in a different light - whilst you are not their number one concern, their thoughts are still coming from a good place, and their intentions are not malicious. This thought calms me down, so I smile, nod and meditate on it whenever someone comes along and does it again. I try to listen – perhaps they actually do have something new that I could consider. If not, I try to let the comments slide off before they permeate the barrier of my mind to trigger anger – or maybe I am just getting older 😉 ## Sign Up for My Free Newsletter Be the first to get the latest post updates in your inbox, and unlock the comments section. You will also receive an e-book full of uplifting messages, quotes and illustrations as a token of appreciation! [Browse more membership plans here](#/portal/), or [make a one-off donation](https://ghost.achronicvoice.com/#/portal/support) instead. Sign Up Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. Read Related Posts: - [What You Reshare Can Change Someone Else’s Life Forever](https://achronicvoice.com/what-you-reshare-can-change-life/) - [Tell Me You’re Chronically Ill Without Telling Me You’re Chronically Ill (52 Chronic Illness Memes)](https://achronicvoice.com/chronic-illness-memes/) - [How to be a Positive Thinker: Without the Unicorns & Rainbows](https://achronicvoice.com/positive-thinker-without-unicorns-rainbows/) - [12 Visible Evidence of a Body Gone Rogue (Is Invisible Illness Truly Invisible?)](https://achronicvoice.com/visible-evidence-invisible-illness/) - [4 Everyday Scenarios We’re Not Sure How to be Polite About and Why](https://achronicvoice.com/everyday-scenarios-not-sure-polite/) ### Comments Archives: Comments imported from previous WordPress site. - [ Donna ](https://www.februarystars.co.uk) Mar 30, 2016 Great post and very valid points. I particularly like the bit when you said the people who advise you to exercise aren’t there to see you try to sit up In the morning– so very true. The people advising often don’t even see part of the picture! - [ Sheryl Chan ](https://achronicvoice.com/) Mar 31, 2016 Yup. Giving advise when you hardly know anything about it makes you look stupid at best, and kills somebody at worst 😉 Thank you for taking the time to read…keep up with raising awareness through your own blog! **Start a new conversation in the Member Comments below!**